The 31-Day movie meme begins with: “The Sequel That Shouldn’t Have Been Made.” What an inauspicious beginning for a month-long discussion of film.

It’s surprising that a meme that is supposed to be celebrating film in general would start with what is essentially a denial of a movie’s right to exist. I find that to be counter to what this should be all about, especially when we’re talking about a sequel, whose very purpose is to give rabid fans more of what they love, with quality frequently only a bonus. The list from which I’ll be working for the next 31 days isn’t terribly inspiring though; just a fair warning, I think it’s been crafted for those with more contemporary tastes (which is my way of saying that it’s seems like it’s more for those young whippersnappers). We’ll see how it goes, but I’ll just plug-on with what I’ve been given.

The summer of 1997 was the only summer I spent living in New York City. Kim (Simpson Crean) and I were living in an apartment in Queens, and we’d yet to get an air conditioner. We’d naively thought that since we’d had quite a lovely breeze blowing through our walk-through in the fall, that it would surely be cool and comfortable in the summer as well. This was of course not the case, and we found ourselves on a weekend in late June or early July debating whether we should just haul our asses to the subway and ride the train for a few hours to cool down. We decided instead to go to the movies.

Imagine, if you will, the Summer Movie Experience: fluffy, fast-paced action films; popcorn and cold soda that fizzes in your throat; and aggressively cold air-conditioning that chills you to the very bone. We figured that going to a late-afternoon movie would get us nice and cool before coming out in the early evening, past the worst of the heat. We walked the two blocks to the theater, terribly pleased with our plan.

The temperature of the theater when we arrived, however, could best be described as being just… not warm. The concessions stand had run out of ice. The movie itself was packed, so walking in to sit down put us in temperatures about ten degrees warmer than the lobby. We sat, we held ourselves as still as possible, and by the time the movie was out, we were finally just… not warm.

Choosing this movie as my “Sequel That Shouldn’t Have Been Made” isn’t even remotely creative; it lands on nearly every list of this sort, and is roundly criticized as the one that killed the original series. People go on and on about Schwarzenegger and Uma Thurman and neglect to mention most of the time that Alicia Silverstone was even there. They say that George Clooney and Chris O’Donnell were lackluster and that the film just plodded along without any focus. But the thing is, I don’t remember any of it. The whole day, with its heat and its brilliant plans thwarted, is very clear in my mind, but the actual film holds no place in my memory other than flashes of the actors in costume.

I saw Schindler’s List on the day before the Oscars, at a noon showing at Horton Plaza, and was late getting there. I thus had to sit in the middle of the third row in a packed house, leaning as far back as possible to take it in. I remember every bit of that film vividly, mainly because what should have been an uncomfortable three hours flew by, and I could have sat there for three more. A truly good summer film – truly a Big, Damn Summer Movie – would have made me forget about the heat, would have made me laugh at the absurdity of it all and our foolproof “plan,” would have helped us to escape for the duration, delivering us at the other end energized by the experience. Escapist entertainment, so unfairly denigrated at times, is supposed to at least hold your interest; if it keeps you enthralled until the credits roll, then it’s done all it should do.

But it’s as if I never saw it at all. Actually, it’s as if the movie had never even been made; for me anyway, so it seems it was the natural place to start this long(-winded, probably) trip. Lara will be talking about television over on hers; go for a visit, and come back tomorrow, when I’ll be talking far more about the movie than the day surrounding it.